It is my great honor as campaign manager to announce two new candidates
for the president of the United States of America Satchel Jones deacon
of the Halleluja Baptist church of Clarkshill South Carolina also known as the
Deacon, and his good friend Gumbo "The Rat". Deacon is running on the platform that if elected he will start a new federal department of decency. Gumbo is running on the platform that he is best suited to ratify the constitution. Who better to ratify the constitution than a Rat.